BUILD CONFIDENCE

You can build your preschooler’s confidence.

• Encourage your child to try new things.

• Accept beginning attempts with mistakes.

• Break difficult tasks into small doable parts.

• Say encouraging comments when things get tough.

• Include time for play where your child can try new things.

• Provide opportunities for your child to be with other children.

• Set realistic expectations for your preschooler.

The first time a preschooler uses a paintbrush and tempera paint, he will have difficulty getting the right amount of paint on the brush and moving the brush around on the paper. As he explores, your preschooler gains the information and skills needed to paint a picture. An overprotective parent may be so afraid that her child will drink the paint, get it on his clothes, or be unable to use the brush that she will not let her child use paint. Or, even if a child is given opportunities, the overprotective parent may tell him how to do it and keep the child from learning for himself.

Involvement in your child’s life is helpful, but it also is important to allow him to experiment, do things for himself, and learn from his mistakes. If you do everything for him, you send the message, You are not capable of handling this. Your preschooler needs opportunities to deal with life, including difficulties, to learn that he is capable of coping in his world. 

Dr. Rebecca Isbell, Ed. D. is a Professor of Early Childhood Education at East Tennessee State University. She has written seven books and numerous articles related to young children and their families. Dr. Isbell has two children and three grandchildren. She lives with her husband in Jonesborough, Tennessee.

SUGGESTED READING

• The Confident Child:

Raising Children to Believe in Themselves by Terri Apter (W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2007)

• Confident Parenting by Jim Burns (Bethany House, 2007)

• 1001 Things Your Kids Should See & Do (Or Else They’ll Never Leave Home) by Harry H. Harrison, Jr. (Thomas Nelson, 2007)

• Speak Softly, Love Loudly: Uncommon Sense for Raising Healthy & Successful Kids by W. M. Baughman (Tate Publishing & Enterprises, 2007)

• Skydiving for Parents: Raising Amazing Kids Without Going Into Free Fall by Jane Bullivant (Monarch Books, 2007)

© Getty Images

ARE YOU OVERPROTECTIVE?

Take this quiz to find out.

1. Are you afraid for your child to try new things?

2. Do you make sure that everything goes well?

3. Are you constantly giving instructions on how to do things?

4. Is every physical activity potentially dangerous?

5. Are you fearful of your child being with anyone but you?

If you answer yes to three or more of these questions, you may be overprotective. Jerome Kagan, Harvard psychologist, has concluded that what creates anxious children is parents hovering and protecting them from any potentially stressful situation.

Source: Hara Estroff Marano, “A Nation of Wimps,” Psychology Today (Nov/Dec, 2004) www.psychologytoday.com.

MARCH 2008 PARENTLIFE 13