THE FACTS

DRUG AbUSE

EATING DISORDERS

• Illicit drug use has declined significantly since its peak years in 1996 and 1997.

• Alcohol use among teenagers also has decreased.

• Alcohol is still the most widely used drug among young people.

• Marijuana and tobacco use both have decreased.

• The abuse of prescription drugs such as Ritalin^®, Vicodin^®, and OxyContin^® have increased.

• The abuse of inhalants has increased.

• The Journal of Abnormal Psychology reported that 14 to 39 percent of adolescents participate in some kind of self-harming behavior.

• Eating disorders affect almost

5 percent of young women in America.

• One percent of female adolescents are anorexic.

• One to three percent of middle and high school girls are bulimic.

• Fifteen percent of young women have unhealthy attitudes and behaviors about food.

opportunities for it to develop — a youth group, mission trips, and Christian organizations. In these places, she will meet other kids who are pursuing their own relationships with Christ. If you catch your preteen drinking or using drugs, give her consequences. If you catch her repeatedly, seek professional help to deal with a potentially addictive situation. 

THE CORE OF THE PROBLEM

Source: National Institute on Drug Abuse, www.drugabuse.gov.

Source: Anorexia and Related Eating Disorders, Inc. (ANRED), www.anred.com.

somehow she believes it is her fault. A preteen is not invited to a party. So in her mind, something must be wrong with her. Your preteen is old enough to notice that things are not right but not old enough to understand the residue of a fallen world.

So some girls start to fall apart from the outside in. They develop struggles such as eating disorders, self-mutilation, addictions to drugs and alcohol, and other issues as a way to numb this newfound pain that feels out of their control. Each of these issues warrants a different response, but each comes from the same source — an intense dislike or self-hatred.

How do you help? The answer is twofold ... one dealing with the

outside symptom and one dealing with the deeper problem on the inside.

HELPfUL wEb SITES

• Remuda Ranch^® — www.remudaranch.com

• National Eating Disorder Association — www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

• American Association of Christian Counselors — www.aacc.net

• Lysamena Project on Self-Injury — www.self-injury.org

• National Institute on Drug Abuse — www.nida.nih.gov

The outside Problem

Self-hatred can come out in many different ways.

• Eating Disorders. Eating disorders typically are fueled by self-hatred and a need for control. For most girls, food is the thing they believe they can control. The problem is that food begins to control them. If you believe your preteen may have an eating disorder, seek professional help.

• Self-Mutilation. Self-mutilation or cutting (which includes scratching) is also based on control and self-hatred. If your daughter is cutting, she is crying out for attention. There is a deeper issue causing her emotional pain. Speak with a counselor.

• Drugs and Alcohol. Kids who do not experiment with alcohol or drugs stay away from them for one of three reasons: 1) They have a commitment to their faith that makes them want to make better decisions. 2) They are a part of a group of friends who are making better decisions. 3) They are terrified of what their parents will do if they do not make better decisions. You cannot make your child have a commitment to her faith. But you can put her in places where she has

At the core of these self-destructive behaviors is self-hatred. As a parent, there are practical ways to deal with the symptoms. Much of the root work is preventive.

• Help your preteen learn to develop a vocabulary about what she wants and help her understand that God made her to long for relationships.

• Put your preteen in places with people who will bring her closer to God but also can help her understand what it means to live in a fallen world.

• Help your preteen find places where she can see that her life makes a difference

— that she has purpose and impact.

As your daughter discovers who God has designed her to be, as she sees that her life can make a difference, her need to punish herself will begin to diminish. God’s grace, healing, and hope can start to crack through that colorful, confused, adolescent outside and warm her all the way to the core.

Melissa Trevathan, M.R.E. and Sissy Goff, M.Ed., LPC-MHSP are counselors, authors, and speakers with over 50 years of combined experience working with kids. They have co-written two books: Raising Girls and The Back Door to Your Teens Heart. Visit www. melissatrevathanandsissygoff.com.

MARCH 2008 PARENTLIFE 17