Single Parent Life By Dr. Kevin Leman

You Can Do It!

no one neeDs to tell you tHat single parenting is tougH.

All parenting has its twists and turns, but single parenting involves additional challenges.

*_{is ab} This new monthly department out empowering you as a single parent to thrive along your journey. We have several experts who will provide encouragement and help throughout 2008. We would love to be part of your journey!

YOU HAvE bEEN UP countless nights with no one to help with the diaper, bottle, or sippy-cup sessions. You have spent sleepless nights wondering how you will scrape together the money for rent. You are the one who has wiped away tears when your child asks, “How come I don’t have a daddy?” You are the one who has been caught off guard when your child asks, “Why don’t you and Mom love each other anymore? Will you stop loving me, too?” Does anyone else feel this way? you wonder.

Making it Work

But is single parenting doable? Certainly! How do I know? I have counseled and spoken to thousands of

THE fACTS

single parents and their children. So many come into my office exhausted — not to mention financially, emotionally, and physically stressed.

There are many ways to become a single parent.

• You may be divorced — going through the pain of a disinterested ex or an active battle with your ex.

• You may always have been a single parent — through your child’s birth or adoption.

• You may have become a single parent when your spouse died.

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No matter your “category,” it is up to you to decide what to do next. And it all starts with how you view your challenges on a day-to-day basis. Do they depress you and incapacitate you? Or do they make you even more determined to make it work?

If you want to succeed as a single parent, keep this in mind: Challenges are simply challenges, not insurmountable obstacles. And what any challenge requires is an extra dose of courage and determination, along with wisdom and advice for how to best approach it.

For years, I have seen single parents and their children not merely survive, but thrive together. They have developed loving, respectful relationships that take them over the puddles of life and through the deep waters. Although single parenting was not the choice for most of them, they have made single parenting work.

And you can, too. 

Not Alone

Look over “The Facts” in the sidebar. Clearly, you are not alone! Many single parents are walking this same road with you. All parenting has its challenges. And you know that single parenting has some additional challenges because you are living through them right now.

• There are currently 12 million single-parent family groups in the United States.

• Twenty million of all children in the United States under the age of 18 live with only one parent.

• Of children living with one parent, 38 percent live with a divorced parent, 35 percent live with a never-married parent, 19 percent live with a separated parent, 4 percent live with a widowed parent, and 4 percent live with a parent whose spouse lives elsewhere because of business or some other reason.

Source: Dr. Kevin Leman, Single Parenting That Works (Tyndale House Publishers, 2006)

Adapted from Single Parenting That Works by Dr. Kevin Leman (Tyndale House Publishers, 2006). Published with permission from Tyndale House Publishers.

Dr. kevin Leman is an internationally known psychologist, founder of www.matchwise.com, radio and television personality, and speaker. Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson, Arizona. They have five children.

MARCH 2008 PARENTLIFE 41